Banquet
18 augustus 2008 - Camp Westwind Lodge, Oregon, Verenigde Staten
So, tonight we had our banquet...which means our saying goodbye dinner!
Because this morning the final and last campers of this season, and of my summer left camp!
The next days (about 3) we will do a deep cleaning of camp and then, it is over!
It is really hard to realize. I've been here all summer and I can't believe how fast it has gone. During the sessions I was middle in it, every day was very long and intense. But now the job is just (almost) done. But then on the other hand it has also been a long summer, just because of the many many things I've experienced. Because of that all, I am really looking forward to my upcoming trip. It will be nice to make my own decisions and to not have to follow all sorts of rules every day and of course not having to work and enjoy my holiday! But I think by the time I really left this place, like by the time I get home, I'm gonna miss it. Then I'm going to really realize what this summer have meant for me, what I've been gone trough, all my experiences will get a place. Right now I just have to process it all.
I've begone to give everything a place a while ago. Session 4 was really intense, it was an 8 day session and because one of my counselors had been fired during session 3, my unit had more work to do with less people. The girls that week where really teenagers with teenager problems and conversations. It just suck up all of our energy. The other 2 counselors that where still left had a couple of disagreements and where stressed. And my unit assistant was also not really in her place. Then during session 5 we really wanted to come togheter as a unit again, and the thing with Rowan happened. An unpleasant surprise. That week I also had a conversation with my supervisor and the camp director. I've gotten in trouble for something which I thought had been really stretched out of it original context and I felt that I got the blame for something in which I didn't even played a huge part in, and even so, the punishment didn't fit the crime. Afterwards I felt extremely upset and I locked myself up and cried for a long time. I think by that time I finally admitted that I didn't feel wonderful and amazing everyday. That is pretty hard, because a lot of the people here have come here all of their life and love this place with all their heart and soul and really have an emotional connection. I really wanted to say all summer that I was also experiencing the best summer of my life. But then, when I felt really honest and upset, I realized that I wasn't. I felt better afterwarts, cause now that I've had been honest with myself, I could also let go more, and try less hard. I've worked so hard all summer and tried so hard to balance the work and the fun. Then session 6 came and I don't know if it was that I had such a lovely break with Chris, or that the kids where so easy that session or that it was just a switch I turned on in my head (probably a combination of all) but the week went fast, easygoing and I enjoyed it. I also just decided that I didn't wanted to end the summer bittersweet, or with negative feelings. I said to myself before I came to the US, that whatever was going to happen, it was going to be an experience anyway. Good or bad. And that was exactly what it has been.
Tonight during the banquet we closed our evening with a string ceremony.
We all sat down in a circle and let string go round and everyone had to tie a piece of string around his wrist. That way we where all connected. But then we had to cut the string of the person sitting next to you, because we are all leaving this place and going our own way. But with the piece of string, we always have a piece of westwind with us. As cutting the string, we had to say our final words. A lot of people just thanked everyone for the wonderful summer, the things they learned, the friendships they made. As we went on, more and more people started crying. For a lot of counselors this is their last year after many years as a camper and on staff.
I didn't cry and I didn't really had a hard time with it, but I think I also don't really realize it all yet. Right now I feel like I have to end the project because I've worked long and hard and I am looking forward to my other plans. And it doesn't really feel like goodbye for some reason.
But I am curious how westwind will appear in my memories, what it has given me as soon as I get back home, how much I will miss.
I guess only time can tell....
Because this morning the final and last campers of this season, and of my summer left camp!
The next days (about 3) we will do a deep cleaning of camp and then, it is over!
It is really hard to realize. I've been here all summer and I can't believe how fast it has gone. During the sessions I was middle in it, every day was very long and intense. But now the job is just (almost) done. But then on the other hand it has also been a long summer, just because of the many many things I've experienced. Because of that all, I am really looking forward to my upcoming trip. It will be nice to make my own decisions and to not have to follow all sorts of rules every day and of course not having to work and enjoy my holiday! But I think by the time I really left this place, like by the time I get home, I'm gonna miss it. Then I'm going to really realize what this summer have meant for me, what I've been gone trough, all my experiences will get a place. Right now I just have to process it all.
I've begone to give everything a place a while ago. Session 4 was really intense, it was an 8 day session and because one of my counselors had been fired during session 3, my unit had more work to do with less people. The girls that week where really teenagers with teenager problems and conversations. It just suck up all of our energy. The other 2 counselors that where still left had a couple of disagreements and where stressed. And my unit assistant was also not really in her place. Then during session 5 we really wanted to come togheter as a unit again, and the thing with Rowan happened. An unpleasant surprise. That week I also had a conversation with my supervisor and the camp director. I've gotten in trouble for something which I thought had been really stretched out of it original context and I felt that I got the blame for something in which I didn't even played a huge part in, and even so, the punishment didn't fit the crime. Afterwards I felt extremely upset and I locked myself up and cried for a long time. I think by that time I finally admitted that I didn't feel wonderful and amazing everyday. That is pretty hard, because a lot of the people here have come here all of their life and love this place with all their heart and soul and really have an emotional connection. I really wanted to say all summer that I was also experiencing the best summer of my life. But then, when I felt really honest and upset, I realized that I wasn't. I felt better afterwarts, cause now that I've had been honest with myself, I could also let go more, and try less hard. I've worked so hard all summer and tried so hard to balance the work and the fun. Then session 6 came and I don't know if it was that I had such a lovely break with Chris, or that the kids where so easy that session or that it was just a switch I turned on in my head (probably a combination of all) but the week went fast, easygoing and I enjoyed it. I also just decided that I didn't wanted to end the summer bittersweet, or with negative feelings. I said to myself before I came to the US, that whatever was going to happen, it was going to be an experience anyway. Good or bad. And that was exactly what it has been.
Tonight during the banquet we closed our evening with a string ceremony.
We all sat down in a circle and let string go round and everyone had to tie a piece of string around his wrist. That way we where all connected. But then we had to cut the string of the person sitting next to you, because we are all leaving this place and going our own way. But with the piece of string, we always have a piece of westwind with us. As cutting the string, we had to say our final words. A lot of people just thanked everyone for the wonderful summer, the things they learned, the friendships they made. As we went on, more and more people started crying. For a lot of counselors this is their last year after many years as a camper and on staff.
I didn't cry and I didn't really had a hard time with it, but I think I also don't really realize it all yet. Right now I feel like I have to end the project because I've worked long and hard and I am looking forward to my other plans. And it doesn't really feel like goodbye for some reason.
But I am curious how westwind will appear in my memories, what it has given me as soon as I get back home, how much I will miss.
I guess only time can tell....
Je schreef: I said to myself before I came to the US, that whatever was going to happen, it was going to be an experience anyway. Good or bad. And that was exactly what it has been.""
Dat was verstandig, maar kijk eens het heeft zich ook zo gemanifesteerd. Next time you'll say to yourself: "whatever is going to happen is going to be GOOD!
LIEVERD IK BEN ZOOO TROTS OP JOUW, you have no idea...!
You are MANY things to me my precious Melissa, and one of those things is One Big Great Lesson in Gratitude for having you in my life. HUGS..HUGS...HUGS...Mamski Lucienne
Omdat je nu in het moment van op het kamp leeft en nog geen afstand kan nemen om alles vanaf een afstandje te bekijken heb je inderdaad nog geen idee hoe je alles nou werkelijk hebt ervaren en wat voor herinnering je er aan over zal houden.
Dat besef komt inderdaad pas al je weer terug bent in NL.
En.. believe me... dat zal heel gek zijn. Je bent weer thuis, en dat is dan vanzelfsprekend ( toch weer) maar niet meer op het kamp.. en dat is toch raar.
Voor mij persoonlijk was het een rare gewaarwording na de 4 maanden in Brasil.
Zat ik thuis aan tafel, na aankomst alsof ik nooit weg was geweest en het andere moment kon ik wel huilen van heimwee....
Jouw ervaring zal ongetwijfeld anders zijn dan de mijne in detaills maar ik denk dat het al met al een vreemde gewaarwording is om weer thuis te zijn en dat je SUPER MOOIE herinneringen zal hebben aan deze 3,5 maand. Alles wat je hebt geleerd, gedaan, mensen die je hebt ontmoet, hoe je jezelf hebt leren kennen, de minder leuke dingen.
Jou gaat zooooooooo trots op jezelf zijn!
Enjoy NYC.
Ga je nog naar Papa?
x
With good or bad I didn't meant that this trip could become a bad thing for me. It was more that I didn't knew what to expect and i didn't want to make to much of it in my head, because then it could turn out in a disappointment. It was more to protect myself, like; I am going to to this, and whatever may happen, it will be an useful experience.
@ Esmee
Thanx voor je wijze woorden, fijn om te horen van iemand die het heeft meegemaakt dat het inderdaad zo werkt en dat dat stukje wel goed komt :)
Erg leuk om je blog te bekijken en je avonturen te lezen, ik weet niet of je nu je blog nog aanvult, of je nog in de gelegenheid bent,
en waar je nu bent, maar toch maar even een berichtje.
Ik kwam deze site tegen, misschien leuk om even naar te kijken:
http://www.managementevents.com/doc/ME_rekryNL_A4_lowres.pdf
Je zoekt weliswaar geen stageplaats, maar om weer te beginnen zou het toch te proberen zijn, als je nog niet snel iets anders kan vinden.
En ze bieden ernaast ook bijbaantjes aan.
Om je weer een beetje voor te bereiden, dan valt het allemaal wel mee.
In ieder geval, geniet van je reizen die je nog gaat ondernemen.
En tot ziens,
Wil van Tol